Melonie Johnson

A moment in literary history.

July 20, 2007Cool Stuff, UncategorizedWrite a comment

That’s right folks – today marks the last date in history where Potter fans everywhere will remain in the dark about…well, everything. All the speculation, the predictions, the arguments – it all ends tonight. After the release of book 7 at 12:01 am (I, for one, will be in bed and not in a bathrobe turned wizard’s outfit elbowing some 9 year old out of the way at my local Borders) the period of time in which fans could see the story unfold along with the characters; not knowing the ending any better than they did – will be over forever. Like the knowledge of Luke Skywalker’s parentage – it’s all dramatic irony from here on out.

I’m off to see the movie version of OOTP (book 5 to all you not in the know) tonight – I’m hoping the super crazies will all be wiping their salivating mouths with their red and gold striped scarves, dancing, shaking and convulsing because they refuse to go pee – even after drinking several cups of coffee in order to stay awake during their 15 hour wait in line, just so they can be among the first TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!

Wouldn’t it be awesome if some prat (I like that word) grabbed a book, turned to the end, and just yelled at the top of his lungs, “My God – you mean Harry actually DIES?!?!”

How many hardcover editions of Book #7 will he have to be hit with before he dies, or at least goes into a coma?

If you are among the throngs of HP readers, but prefer to keep your interest private (like your secret enjoyment of Barbara Streisand or something) than this might interest you.

Hot Babes, Puppets, and Bowels

July 16, 2007Books, Kids, Movies, Time WastersWrite a comment

Curious? Learn more by seeing the newest entry on the “Reviews by A.J.” Page, where Aishtyn makes her Harry Potter predictions.

When truth is stranger than fiction.

July 16, 2007UncategorizedWrite a comment

This summer, it seems one of the two bookclubs I belong to has accidentally fallen upon a theme: hiking the Appalachian Trail and encounters with animals (specifically – bears). So far we have read Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver, A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, and The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King. Take a look at any of these books, especially the last one – and you’ll find a story about hiking in the woods and fearing attack from an unfriendly source who will do more than just raid your picnic basket.

Sure, I thought the fear these characters felt was valid – but in some ways I thought it might be exaggerated – exacerbated if you will – by the strain of the trail and the loneliness of the woods. Even after reading Bryson’s chilling re-telling of how a young boy scout was ripped apart by a bear who smelled an errant Snickers bar – I thought it was a remote, unlikely thing – something to feel horror for, but not to truly fear.

Then, just days after finishing King’s novel about a young girl who gets lost in the woods and is stalked and nearly killed by a bear – I read a story in the paper about an old friend from high school. Kathryn Evans (or Katie LaPlante, as I knew her back in high school) was killed on June 28th. She had been mauled by a bear.

If you want more details you can find them here, I do not wish to get into them myself.

Katie and I were the same age, and I am shocked to think her life has been cut short like this. I admit, though we were buddies in high school – we went our own ways and I had not seen or even thought of Katie in years. Reading of her death, however – images of her bright blue eyes and big smile flashed in my mind, and I could clearly recall some of our funnier conversations. One moment in particular is as clear as if it happened this afternoon, and I can hear her voice and her laugh as we whiled away the lunch hour in the Commons area of our school.

To all of Katie’s family – God Bless, I am very sorry for your loss.

Summer Love

July 12, 2007IMO, UncategorizedWrite a comment

Though I can’t stand the heat and humidity (it turns me into one hell of a frizzy-haired cranky mess) – and the mosquitoes – oh, THE CURSED MOSQUITOES, I do love many aspects of this brief time each year when life travels both faster and slower at the same time.

To celebrate, I am taking note of the things I love about the summer season:

1. Big puffy white clouds in a brilliant blue sky.

2. The smell of meat grilling on the BBQ.
3. Sitting on a blanket in the grass, reading a book on a sunny, breezy afternoon.
4. Dinner & Drinks with friends on an outdoor patio at dusk.
5. Sand volleyball followed by margaritas.

6. The days are longer, but the workdays are shorter (and, for me anyway – there are far less of them!).

7. Taking my daughter to the theme park.

8. Hearing my daughter laugh as she runs around a spray park.

9. Zoos, parks, and festivals.

10. Ice cream, cherries and strawberries.

Granted, I get to enjoy some of these more often than others – but I hope to enjoy them all as much as I can.

Having Kids Wreaks Havoc on One’s Body Image

July 12, 2007Kids, Life SucksWrite a comment

I’m not talking about the process of carrying, delivering, and breastfeeding a child (though, God knows that does enough damage to your body to make anyone wear unrelieved black from head to toe).

No. What I’m referring to is the unabashed, unwelcome observations that children (a certain 4 year old red head in particular) make about other people’s appearances.

This morning, as I was getting dressed, my daughter informed me that my backside was, “Thiiiiiis big.” Her arms stretching as far apart as they could go, like So Big of Edna Ferber fame.

Granted, I am not the only person to suffer the slings and arrows of her perusal. The following includes statements she has made to others about their appearances (I have omitted names to protect any sense of vanity said individuals may have left).

– “You have big tummy.”

– “Whoa, your belly jiggles.”

– “Your belly button is big and hairy, that’s silly.”

So, while I appreciate my daughter’s open honesty – there are still some things I’d prefer she keep to herself… and how big she thinks Mommy’s tushy is – well, that’s certainly one of them.

A Good Read? You can Bet on it.

July 9, 2007Books, IMO, UncategorizedWrite a comment

Just had the ol’ bookclub meeting. Since I picked the book, I hosted – and we had a great time here at Chateau Johnson, it was one of the most enjoyable book club nights yet – if I do say so myself. I chose Bet Me, by Jennifer Crusie – something easy and fun – a summer read. I was very pleased to find that every member of the club gave it an “A.” Yeah me!

Sooo, if you have a bookclub, and decide to read Bet Me, here are some ideas (I know, they’re not extremely original, but fun all the same) to liven up the meeting:

Play Elvis &/or Elvis Costello music (I chose the King’s #1 hits cd)

Serve Lots of bread with REAL butter, Chicken Marsala, and Krispy Kremes. (We tried to make the Krispy Kreme cake, but it didn’t go very well). I also printed Min’s recipe for Chicken Marsala and gave each book club member a copy to keep.

Discussion questions:

What is your opinion of romance novels / chick lit as a genre?

Should Bet me be shelved/categorized as a Romance or simply Fiction?

Grade the book (and explain rationale).

Favorite character? Character you identify with/relate to most?

Did you like or hate Cindy?

Favorite LOL moments?

Who would you cast to play Cal and Min?

Write your own 1st sentence to the novel, starting, like Crusie does, “One upon a time…”

Would you read another Crusie?

After you burn through these questions, which should have made for some interesting conversations on their own – it’s time to play the “If” game. By now you and the other book club members have probably imbibed copious amounts of wine, and are perfectly primed for this activity. Based on the “If Dinners” that Min had with her best friends, the If game allows each book club member a chance to randomly choose a question from The Book Of If and ask it of all the other members, everyone answers the question before moving on to the next member who will select another question, and the process repeats itself. If you don’t have an absolute blast doing this, then, well, you need to get into a new book club.

Um, where are we going to dinner?

July 6, 2007Ooops MomentsWrite a comment

So, tonight the husband and I experienced that rare occasion known as “an evening out.” You know, dinner, drinks, conversation – A DATE. There wasn’t a booster seat or chicken nugget in sight, and the only food I had to cut up was my own luscious salmon (which by the way, I was able to enjoy without hearing complaints about how my meal smelled like a “stinky monkey.”)

Funny thing though, hubby decided to choose the place: a relaxed, low-key place known for its awesome beer called The Firkin. We’ve always wanted to try this place, but haven’t had a chance – and well, we still haven’t. After parking in the back lot, we walk to the building and see a sign saying enter. so that’s just what we do. My first clue we may have made a mistake was when the host, Mr. Snooty Pink-Shirt, asks if we have a reservation. My spouse simply replies, “Do we need one?” Obviously not, because we are seated promptly at a nice little table by the window. Clue #2 arrives when Mr. Snooty Pink Shirt smothers us with the wine list, and I laugh and say, “Oh – we’re here for the beer,” causing the snooty-smirk on Mr. Snooty Pink Shirt’s face to crease several more degrees to the south. And finally, clue #3: the menu is emblazoned with the name The Tavern. Hmmm…well, I suppose, since the place we planned to patronize was, by definition, a tavern – then we could be in the right place…or, more likely, we were in the hoity-toity little restaurant next door that was actually called The Tavern.

Oops.

So, now we are faced with a decision…do we smile and run or stay and buy overpriced fish served by smarmy people in monochromatic colors?

Ah, what the hell, we stay.

The overpriced fish was very nice, and the conversation was wonderful – which, after all, was why we went out in the first place.

So, hubby, if you read this – thanks for the nice night out – I had a great time.

Maybe next date (which will hopefully happen in a month from now rather than a year from now) we can try Firkin…again.

I heart the Tudors

July 6, 2007Cool Stuff, Movies, Time WastersWrite a comment

I really do. Many have an obsession with Will, Harry, Charlie and dear departed Di – but my royal interest zeroes in about 5 centuries ago – I love me some Tudor dynasty. Like most people who are fascinated with that era, my interest is bookended with Henry VIII and his daughter Elizabeth. I know more than my fair share about the lives of these historical figures, and that is why my fancy has been tickled to discover that a sequel to Elizabeth is in the works. Called, The Golden Age – it will focus on the events that lead to the zenith of Gloriana’s reign. Oh happy day, a movie I can’t wait to see that doesn’t have a wizard, elf, or jedi in it.

I will sincerely miss Joseph Fiennes, who makes my little heart pitter patter faster; but I understand the omission since his character, Robert Dudley, did not play a significant role in the later part of the Queen’s reign. It’s ok, I’ll watch Shakespeare in Love and get over it (he’s better in that movie anyway).

Reviews by A.J.

July 5, 2007Kids, Uncategorized, WebsiteWrite a comment

At the moment, my website consists entirely of this blog – but hopefully I can eventually expand upon it – adding various pieces of interest and categories to appeal to the masses and appease my cluttered brain.

Something I’d like to add is a series of music, movie, television, book, and even food reviews done by a guest reviewer; a person of extremely discriminating tastes, a wide variety of interests, someone who is open and honest, and unafraid to give voice to her inner-critic: in short, my 4 year old daughter.

And so begins the “Reviews by A.J.” Until I can do more work on the main page of my website, look for it here in the blog under the permanent pages section.