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Is there anyone who doesn’t have a love/hate relationship with Ikea?

Cool Stuff, General Suckitude, Products, Time WastersWrite a comment

Let’s face it – it’s hard to deny that Ikea has some funky-cool sh*t for your house at decent prices…but damn, that store is a b*tch!

LOVE: Cheap glassware, cool poster frames, awesome bookcases & storage solutions, unique kid’s furniture, great bathroom & kitchen gadgets.

HATE: Driving there. Parking there. Attempting to maneuver a cart in there. Struggling to find the product I’m looking for there. Never finding the product I want actually in stock there. Checking out of there. Leaving there.

Add a grumpy, impatient husband and a 4 year old who is bored and wants to touch everything – and IKEA can be its own circle of hell…and probably not worth the OLGA shoe organizer of KLEMPF towel rack that I liked in the catalog but will be unlikely to find after a few hours of searching the store.

Houses don’t have birthdays.

Hallmark Moments, KidsWrite a comment

Or so I was informed this afternoon by my daughter, who thought the concept of a house party to be quite ridiculous. Some friends of ours recently bought a house and were having a housewarming party this weekend. So on the way, we stopped at World Market to get some funky wine glasses and wine as a little gift. When I told my daughter we were buying presents for the house party she gave me a look that indicated she had doubts concerning my mental stability and told me, “Mama – houses don’t have birthdays.”

Minutes later she asked me if there would be cake.

If we had to do it all again…

Celebrations, LifeWrite a comment

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
— Benjamin Franklin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
— Milton Berle

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open. ~George Bernard Shaw (for us it’d be the other way around, but same basic idea)

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it. ~Gene Perret

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~Paul Sweeney

That’s right – 6 years ago today, my man and I tied the knot. And all I can say is if I had to do it all over again, though I might have chosen a smaller and CHEAPER celebration of our choice to spend the rest of our lives together – there is one thing I would never change: the fact that I said, “I do.”

You still make me want to do this:

A collection of collections

Cool Stuff, ProductsWrite a comment

That’s kind of what we have in our house – both hubby and I have a habit of collecting things…and it seems to be rubbing off on our daughter whose collection of princess dresses and littlest pet shop toys is awe inspiring. For starters, there’s our Star Wars room: in which we converted our dining room into a mini-museum of Star Wars memorabilia. Then there is hubby’s office – which is in itself a tribute to video games: with altars to LOZ, Donkey Kong, and Pac-Man

The good news about this mania for multiple items under a single theme is that it makes gift-giving a fairly easy process: all I have to do is search e-bay for Pac-Man paraphernalia and presto! I find some fun gifts (in the past, this has included many vintage 80’s items like: a pac-man shaped phone, lunch box, tv tray, card game, wind-up doll, mugs, and glassware.)

One of the collections in our house started quite by accident: my collection of music boxes/snow globes. Way back in the day when hubby and I had our first Christmas together, one of his gifts to me was a snow globe of two cute little mice in a bubble gum machine. The following Christmas I asked for another snowglobe – and a trend was born. Every Christmas since, he has bought me some tye of snowglobe / music box – often having some significance for what happened during the course of that year. For example, the year I directed Alice in Wonderland, he got me an Alice & Cheshire cat snowglobe. The year our daughter was completely addicted to Lilo & Stitch he got me a Lilo snowglobe. I have a curio cabinet I keep my treasures in, and it’s a fun way to mark our years together and each one is special; they’re not just dust collecting knick-knacks.

This year – with the culmination of the Harry Potter series – I would really like to have a Harry Potter themed snowglobe. So, honey – here’s my official wish request! Check out my two favorites: the Hedwig one and the Hogwarts train. Don’t worry, I’ll still act surprised on Christmas morning…I always do.

Oh, and our daughter would like this for her collection.

If you don’t believe in Murphy’s Law – have some kids.

Kids, Life Sucks, UncategorizedWrite a comment

You’ve at least heard of Murphy’s Law, right?

Well, if you have somehow managed to get through life without finding cause to believe this theory is correct, all you have to do is have children. I promise you – you will never doubt the veracity of this adage ever again.

Case in point – some recent examples from my own life:

Murpy’s Law of Parenthood #1:

Your child never sleeps in and is always awake by 6am. No matter how much you really need the sleep, you are dragged, pushed, kicked, rolled, and generally wheedled out of bed before 6:30. HOWEVER, if you are blessed with an odd burst of energy and are awake and hell, even dressed before 6am – your child will snooze past 8.

Murphy’s Law of Parenthood #2

At a friend/relative’s house your child tries a new food and loves it – she can’t seem to eat enough of it. Excited by the prospect of extending her dietary horizons beyond chocolate milk and cheese crackers you race to the store to stock up. The minute you attempt to serve the same beloved item at home it becomes a detested lump of uneaten slop.

Murphy’s Law of Parenting #3

Your child is happily amusing herself with a toy, puzzle, or tv show – the last thing they want is your attention. UNTIL you decide you’d like to: go the bathroom, take a shower, get some cleaning done, take a nap, or make out with your spouse. Then your offspring comes running, demanding your complete and 100% undivided focus.

Any you would like to add?

I’m on a roll!

Hobbies, Warren Theatre, Work, WritingWrite a comment

Yee-ha! Maybe it’s the whole back to school feeling I can’t escape, despite the fact that I’m no longer student nor teacher, but these past few days I have been on a writing kick and all I can say is, “I Go Girl!” (hmmm…maybe that doesn’t work so well as a power mantra).

This burst of creative energy is probably partly due to the fact that I have to be on the computer, madly typing away as I struggle to complete a modern adaptation of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream for auditions on 8/20. Already typing up a storm seems to have gotten the creative juices flowing, because I have been able to flesh out some plot ideas for the NOVEL. This is not the masterpiece story I want to tell about my grandparents, but a “simple” romance/paranormal that I plan to force finish during NaNoWriMo .

So, good for me, I need to get back to work now.

I can never think of this stuff at the time

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Does this ever happen to you? Someone asks you a question: “What do you want for your birthday?” “Where do you want to go for dinner?” etc, and you just can’t think of anything at the moment, and end up thinking of lots of great ideas later in the day? Well, this morning the husband asked me if there were any ways in which he could be a better husband. Of course, I said, “No.” And it wasn’t just the obligatory wifely duty of ego stroking – honestly, at that moment, I really couldn’t think of anything! But, of course, here I am…hours later, and several things have come to mind. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a wonderful man, and I know I am very lucky – but still…he did ask! So, hubby, if you’re reading this – here’s 10 Things My Husband Can Do To Be Even More Wonderful (and to be fair, I have also made a 10 Things That Make My Husband So Wonderful.

And now, for the next episode…

Home Repairs, Life SucksWrite a comment

…in the continuing saga of Appliance Hell. In today’s episode, mild-mannered housewife Mimi Johnson is attempting to get dinner together for the family (like a good housewife should) when ZAP! PING! WHOOSH! flames are shooting out of the microwave!!! Our heroine keeps a cool head though, and soaks a towel before shoving it into the roof of the microwave, dousing the flames (and ruining much of dinner in the process). Apt punishment for daring to cook a meal in such a non-Martha Stewart fashion? Egads, no – poor Mimi was merely attempting to warm up the gourmet Veggie Tart she had baked from scratch the day before.  So, the microwave is dead…stay tuned for our next episode, when who knows what dangers lurk – an exploding dryer, a flooding dishwasher? The possibilities are endless.

The Cost of Help is High These Days

Hallmark Moments, KidsWrite a comment

The other day my MIL decided to drop off a bunch of stuff – why? I don’t know, I guess we need more stuff. Anyways, Aishtyn offers to help carry in the boxes, and when she is finished, tells Nana that she owes her, “Ten bucks.” Apparently, there are no free rides in Aishtyn’s town – who proceeded to make up a song and dance about how Nana has to pay her ten dollars. Despite the hilarity of the song, and the precociousness of her demands, Aishtyn did not get $10. Instead, she got a little lecture on favors, and the priceless pleasure of helping out.

Sticky sports bras and pms

General SuckitudeWrite a comment

And all the other things that suck about being a chick. I thought about this as I struggled to wiggle out of a sweaty sports bra the other day. After a 5 mile run, trying to free my chest from the clutches of elastic and cotton/nylon blends of torture can require almost more energy than I can muster. The zany yoga moves and acrobatics it sometimes requires would be amusing…if it was happening to somebody else.

Check out my TOP 10 Page to see the complete list of things that annoy me most about being a woman.