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International Santa

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So we have established the fact that Santa only brings one gift to each child since he can’t fit more than that in his sack of presents. (Besides, we want some of the credit, glory, and gratitude of the delight of Christmas morning!) So Aishtyn knows that she asks Santa for the one thing she wants more than anything else. This year it is a pair of Charlie and Lola dolls. They are characters from a UK book series that has been turned into a cartoon series that the Disney channel picked up. Fortunately, the books and DVD’s are widely available in the U.S. Unfortunately, the toys are not.  So what to do? Currently the British pound is worth more than 2x the U.S. dollar, which means at Amazon uk, the dolls are selling for $30, and that’s before the cost of air mail. I’m finding them somewhat cheaper on e-bay, and will go that route if I have to, but first I tried something unconventional (it was my husband’s idea). At first we thought we’d ask a close friend of ours who has several relatives in England buy the dolls and ship them over, but then we thought about it and decided it was safer not to go that route, since we’d probably end up with a box of British ale and porn instead. So hubby suggested I post a question on one of the message boards I frequent that has several girls who live in the UK. I thought that was a great idea, since recently when a new book was released many of the American girls shipped books across the pond to those who would otherwise have to wait a few more months for the release. So I posted my request and will see what happens – worse case, I buy the dolls off e-bay.

The things you do for your kids, hell, I’m wearing fairy wings right now. I’m serious, she wanted me to put on a pair so I did. Yep, picture me sitting here in my pj’s typing away with a pair of pink glittery fairy wings on. Well, maybe you don’t want to picture that.

Pregnancy Dreams that Turn into Fears

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Ok – so I know that when you’re pregnant you have all these extra hormones racing around and aside from making you nauseous, tired, crabby or all of the above it can make you have some pretty freakin’ weird dreams.

Last night the dream was more unsettling than freaky. I dreamt that my new baby was born with Downs Syndrome, and that she seemed to love my sister more and preferred her attention and affection over mine. I woke up and though whatever, just a dream, right? Well, later that day I was at a holiday craft fair, and Aishtyn walks up to this little boy with Downs Syndrome and befriends him in her usual Aishtyn manner. That evening, I was reading the latest issue of Parenting magazine where a featured article concerned the life of a family whose 3rd child was born with Downs. All these events, insignificant and normal in their own right, are freaking me out for the simple reason that they occurred within less than 24 hours of each other.

I know everything is more than likely fine, and I am just suffering the hyper-worry that all moms-to-be go through, but it is still heart-wrenching.

At my last Dr’s visit, I turned down all the tests and screenings they do for things like Downs, simply because I don’t know what I could possibly do with that information. I don’t think I could terminate the pregnancy…aside from the fear that the results could be wrong, there is the fact that I have worked and known people with Downs and they lead happy, reasonably normal lives and are just as entitled to their chance at life as the rest of us. Of course I realize in some measure the strain such a situation will be to our family – but that cannot be reason enough to choose to end this child’s chance at life in this family.

All this of course is rambling – as I said, I didn’t take any of the tests or have any of the screenings done. And though a part of me is screaming to run into the office at my next Dr. appt saying, “YES! Give me the tests!” I don’t think I will – I fear how such tests may harm the baby, I worry about a false positive or an unclear answer – and finally, I think – if my worst fears are realized – I don’ t think I am ready to face that fear until and if it becomes a reality.

With Aishtyn I was so terrified of something – anything – going wrong. My husband and I seemed to be doing so well, our life was so smooth, that I figured it was tempting fate to assume we would have a perfect baby too. We were blessed though, and our baby girl was every miracle we could have asked for. Now the fear is, how dare I tempt fate twice? I know logically – statistically – I am healthy and strong and will give birth to a healthy and strong and “normal” baby…but you know, when you’re pregnant – logic sometimes has nothing to do with it.

So, while I try to encourage logic to win out – here’s something on a lighter note concerning the illogical side-effects of pregnancy: check out my list of cravings…to be updated as they hit me.

All hail the Belly Button

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Some kids have a favorite blankie. Some kids suck their finger or thumb. Some are attached to a pacifier, nuk, doo-dah, whatever you call it. Others have a favorite stuffed animal. For my daughter – her source of comfort and object of self-soothing is her belly button. From the day she found it, Miss A has had a special love affair with her little outtie of a belly button. When she was nursing as a baby, she enjoyed playing with mine (I have an innie, and a little baby finger wiggling around in your belly button is a weird sensation, let me tell you), but since then she has graduated to enjoying her own. She hates overalls or any other clothing that restricts her from full “belly button access.”

Some recent developments include “Super Belly Button!” In which, she pinches her her abdominal extremity like she is pulling it forward and zooms around the room.

As they grow older, children will sometimes develop an imaginary friend as another way to self-soothe. It appears Miss A’s belly button is a full-service appendage; she has given it its own voice (kind of high and squeaky) and just the other night she told my husband that, “Belly button wants to be a person.”

I guess the good news is she can never lose it like a stuffed toy or pacifier, and it won’t damage her teeth.

I wonder if perhaps Baby #2 will have the same fascination for belly buttons as his/her sister. Miss A talks to baby through my belly button (I suppose she thinks it acts as some kind of microphone or telephone line) and at the Dr. yesterday, when he was trying to find the heartbeat, he couldn’t at first. Turns out he was looking too low on my abdomen, as soon as he moved up, there baby was, heartbeat galloping away…just to the right of my belly button.

Soon there will be “shour” of us

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In the words of Aishtyn, who has issues with articulating the letter “F” (hence, she wears “shlip-shlops,” likes to eat “shrench shries,” and calls people on the “shone”…however she says “flamingo” perfectly clear, so I know the child CAN do it…) anyways, as Aishtyn, says, “soon there will be shour of us.” Yes, that’s right. Johnson # 4 is on his or her way.

I start my 2nd trimester on Monday, and wanted to wait to make the announcement until I got past that first tricky trimester. We’re all excited and happy – and things are going well overall – I got lucky with Aishtyn and was hardly ever sick, but this one has had me feeling queasy morning, noon, and night (tell me again why they call it morning sickness?). Hopefully, as I move into this next trimester the nausea and severe headaches and exhaustion will pass.

Aishtyn can’t wait to be a big sister – at first she refused to believe that it could be anything other than a baby sister that we would name “Barbie”(another discussion all in itself), but now she has come to accept that whether it is baby sister or brother – Aishtyn will be the all-important big sister and s/he will love her very much.

Of course, now comes the constant, “I have a baby in my tummy too” conversations and the “Does Dada have baby in his tummy?” ah, such interesting, creative answers – I try to stick as close to the truth as possible without crossing into TMI land.

Went for the first appt about a month ago – and wow, I didn’t know they did this now – but they do an ultrasound that first visit, and I got to see tiny Baby Johnson’s body and heartbeat right there on the screen. Yep, just one in there, so no red-headed twins named Fred & George. (Though the Dr. did think he was being funny when he first flipped on the screen and started counting more than one…whatever, I guess you gotta take your laughs where you can in that profession).

So here you go – the very first look at Baby Johnson#2, estimated arrival date in early May.

And in case this looks like some ink blot test, I added some info: