It all worked out pretty swimmingly, Miss A recently celebrated the passing of another year, and we had to head to Chi-town anyways, as she was Irish Dancing at a rather famous location…so a trip to American Girl place was not out of the question. (Note to self: never again try to arrange a trip to Chicago, a dance performance at Navy Pier, a visit to American Girl Place, a birthday party AND a slumber party all in one day – ok?)
Chicago traffic not-withstanding (due to packed parking garages Miss A got the pleasure of not 1 but 2 cab rides that day) it was an incredible moment for Miss A – the culmination of all her efforts. And a lesson as well….she discovered sales tax. I told her Kanani cost $100, and that was what she needed to earn, but when I forked over additional dough at the counter I explained that Kanani actually cost a bit more than her hard earned $100 due to this lovely thing called sales tax (don’t let me get started on all the wacky ways IL is looking to tax its citizens further) – anyway, I told her that I would cover the sales tax this time, but from here on out, any item she set her sights on to save for, she would have to take sales tax into account. “I hate taxes!” was her response…I think, today of all days, we can all sympathize.
For now, I’ll let Miss A enjoy the fruits of her labor…and try not to think about how much I’ll be paying in sales tax when we finally manage her big dream: a trip to Kanani’s home…Hawaii.
Before I continue, let me just say that I am completely aware that I have putteth my cart before the horse. I have two novels in progress…both about 2/3 complete. (Yes, I’ve made an executive decision on which I will finish first: goal – done by first day of summer – but as of yet, it’s still not done.) So why, you may ask, am I even contemplating query letters? I know it is a big ol’ NO-NO to query an editor/publisher/agent without having finished the book first (you don’t want that magic request for a full to slip through your fingers cuz you don’t have your sh*t together). So again, why did I waste time better spent on actually finishing my novel writing a query?
Well, I recently joined RWA and more specifically, the Chicago North chapter. I joined nearly a year to the day I was first given the wonderful advice to seek out and join the group by someone I really admire. I really, really wish I had done this sooner – but that is neither here nor there. I’m now a member, and am so excited by the huge dose of motivation, inspiration, advice, and encouragement this group provides.
Like the Query Letter Critique Night they recently hosted. As I said, my book – it ain’t finished yet – but there was no way I was going to pass up an opportunity to get help on a very important part of the road to publishing process. So I spent a bit of time reviewing query advice on the interwebs, and kicked out a query letter.
Like the advice garnered from websites, the comments concerning my query were varied and sometimes contradictory. For example, some felt I shouldn’t note the fact I graduated magna cum laude, some thought I should definitely leave that in. There were varying opinions on where all the contact info should be located on the page – but that is trivial and will probably be decided on a per query basis (as I try to follow various submission guidelines). Similar polite dissension occurred as other members’ query letters were discussed, and I realized that, like most things in life, you can become paralyzed by indecision if you hesitate to act while trying to make everyone happy. If you try to follow all the rules and adhere to all the do’s and dont’s of a successful query letter – you’ll never get one done. So again, like most things in life, go with your gut and put together a query letter that feels right to you.
That being said, there was some advice I received about my letter that I will certainly follow, despite the fact it contradicts what popular literary blogger Nathan Bransford has highlighted as elements of awesome query letters. 1: Don’t mention this is my first novel and 2: Don’t offer excerpts or a first chapter as available to read on a website. I also was encouraged to further highlight my script writing experience.
Some things I think I nailed in my query letter include conveying my unique “voice” and infusing my query with a sense of energy. I also was able to keep the book “blurb” concise while hinting at the humor inherent in my story. The humor element came up in discussion, commenters were curious to know if, despite being a Paranormal, was my book funny? The answer is oh yeah! Though while explaining that fact to the group, I am embarrassed to say I made a malapropism boo-boo and used “brevity” instead of “levity.” I blame Shakespeare and the quote that has forever linked brevity and wit in my mind.
I also received confirmation that the tense structure of my opening paragraph was awkward – I struggled with it, so that came as no surprise.
All in all, it was a worthwhile endeavor, and when I DO get my book finished, I have an awesome head start on the query letter process.
Anyone want to chime in with personal experience on the query writing process? Lessons learned? Stories of success or dire warnings of what not to do? Inform me!
Recently I was contacted by UbiSoft via the Clever Girls Collective and asked if I, and more specifically Miss A, would like to review a new game for the Nintendo DS. Well, Miss A takes after her father, and the girl was sold at DS. The fact that the game turned out to be about taking care of cute little bunnies was just icing on Miss A’s proverbial cake. Have I mentioned the girl wants to be a veterinarian? Yes, I understand that most girls her age have similar career aspirations – but Miss A is taking it pretty seriously. Yesterday at the ReptileFest they had an “Ask A Vet” station set up and Miss A proceeded to grill them about her prospective career. Their best advice? When she gets older, to volunteer at a local animal hospital and see if she still wants to do it for a living.
Well, Miss A won’t be volunteering at an animal hospital anytime soon, but thanks to Petz BunnyzBunch, she does get to care of her own bevy of bunnies. When the game first arrived in the mail she was so excited to play it that she actually turned down the chance to go out with her dad for a dinner at Steak N’ Shake. Translation: she was really into the game.
Here’s Miss A trying to explain to me a bit about how the game works and what she likes about it:
And now, I’ll let Miss A take over from here with a bit more in-depth review of the game:
This game taught me that taking care of bunnies is more work than I first thought, I need to feed them and bathe them and play with them alot, and make sure they take lots of naps!
I earn money by playing mini games which lets me buy food, toys, furniture and more bunnies! My favorite mini game is the obstacle course where I lead my bunny around the room by shaking bells. My least favorite mini game is the box game where I have to get my bunny to throw toys into their matching boxes. If I could make up my own mini game for my bunny to play it would be a combination of the four mini games where the bunny has to find an egg and to get there he has to go through an obstacle course, and on his way through the course to find the egg he will have stop and play instruments according to a pattern and sort toys into boxes. I would really like it if there was a way to have all my bunnies play a game together, maybe hide and seek.
There are lots of different types of bunnies to choose from – 10 different breeds – and if they are in a pink box they are a girl, and if the are in a blue box, they are a boy. I like that I get to name each of my bunnies myself. Some of the names I have chosen are Bun-Bun, Chippy, Patch, Snow and Moon. Right now I have eleven bunnies. you are allowed to have up to 20 bunnies (a boy and a girl of each breed). don’t like that you can give your bunnies up for adoption – that is sad to me, I love them too much to give them away. If I could change something, I would make it so you can have as many bunnies as you wanted.
I really like it that they purr when you pet them, and I like that they show you how different types of bunnies have different favorite foods and toys. Even if two bunnies are the same kind of bunny, a boy bunny may have different favorites than the girl bunny – and I thought that was very interesting.
As you earn stars and hearts by playing the mini games and taking care of your bunnies you can move up in rank, right now I am a Keeper. which I think is pretty good. I would have liked some chart that shows me all the different ranks I can be and what it takes to move up a rank. It would also be nice to know what the different ranks mean – I really didn’t know what the difference between an apprentice and an attendant was. Explaining that somewhere in the game would be helpful. (NOTE FROM MISS A’s MOM: I totally agree! I would really liked to know what the different levels were, and how many points, etc it took to move up a level. This information, if available, did not appear easily accessible.)
I spend most of my time playing the mini games, so I would really like it if there were more than just four mini games. I like buying toys for my bunnies the best, and really don’t like buying the furniture because I really don’t like the way the furniture in the shop looks – I like what the game starts with and really didn’t want to change it.
My friend has real bunnies and I thought the bunnies in the game did a pretty good job making the bunnies look like real bunnies, and in fact are more fun than real bunnies because they are more playful!
If you’re looking for something to put in your child’s Easter basket that will last longer than the cheap toys in the holiday aisles at your local SuperMart, and is sugar-free, you could do worse than picking up a copy of BunnyzBunch.
While Ubisoft provided me with this game to review, the opinions I’ve expressed here are solely my own and represent my honest viewpoint. Ubisoft, Clever Girls Collective
Earlier this week the husband and I played Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with Miss A. At one point in the game, she answered a question by reenacting the scene where Princess Leia chokes out Jabba. The girl really got into it and we started talking about what scenes from Star Wars we’d want to reenact (for my choice – see #1 below). This led us to think about what other movie scenes we’d like to reenact; so last night the husband and I shared a bottle of wine and came up with our lists. Some picks from his list include the Blues Brothers driving through the mall scene, the laser blowing up the giant tin foil ball of popcorn in Real Genius (alternately, he also really likes the water slide party in that movie), and we both agreed that the time travel montage from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure would be fun (though he pointed out the fact that a telephone booth as time travel device was not very original…I had never made that connection before, but then again, I’ve never been a Dr. Who fan).
Here’s what I came up with after a couple hours of conversation and a few glasses of wine (a Cabernet Franc which, while I’m not usually a red girl, I really liked!)
10. Andromeda “dream” walking in Clash of the Titans (1981) So here’s something silly and mildly embarrassing: as a kid I used to pretend I was Princess Andromeda from the 1981 movie Clash of the Titans.
One of my favorite scenes is her dream sequence. I loved everything about it: her hair in that glittery, twisty side pony tail, her fluttery peach pajamas, her awesome canopy bed with the curtains, even the music that played – I loved it! I wanted to get up from my bed and go cavorting around while still “asleep” – granted I would prefer not to ride in a cage carried by a giant vulture to meet a creepy ex-boyfriend turned monster out in a swamp, but the rest of it I’d be happy to reenact. Looking back at that movie, I still love its cheesy over-the-topness. I just may have to go out and find a copy of the soundtrack. I have yet to see the 2010 remake of this movie…my husband can’t stand the ’81 version as it is, so it would be a Netflix night while the husband is out with the guys kind of thing – anybody out there see the new version? What did you think?
9. Pretty Woman Shopping Scene (1990) Aside from the fact that it would be lots of fun to go on a spending spree using a super rich dude’s credit card (and what a great scene where Gere’s character tells the shop he’s going to spend an obscene amount of money and blatantly encourages them to kiss Roberts’ character’s a$$), I love how she goes back to the posh boutique to tell off the presumptuous b*tches. This clip is her first visit, and this second clip is the sweet revenge.
8. Rhett’s kiss at the burning of Atlanta Gone With the Wind (1939) Wow. I read Gone With the Wind when I was 12 years old. I clearly remember it because in 6th grade this odd thing happened where I was the only student in my class who tested into a gifted reading program. I don’t know why the school decided to do this – but for the first year they simply stuck me with the 7th graders and we had a nice little class that actually was a great deal like a college English Lit course. We read books like Pearl S. Buck’s The Good Earth and had great discussions. The following year the 8th graders had to follow a specific curriculum so it was decided that I, now a 7th grader who had already completed the curriculum for my grade, would be in a class all by myself. (They had to scrap the program during my 8th grade year so I was put back into the mainstream reading class and subjected to snide comments from the teacher regarding the fact that I was stuck with the average joes again.) But back to my point: the 1-person class idea was perfect for me since I got to outline my own goals for the year: one of them being to read Gone With the Wind in its entirety. That book is chock-full of powerful and amazing, well…everything. Characters. Setting. Scenes. Tension. And that scene, where Rhett pulls Scarlett to him and tells her that, “In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.” When he grips her arms and says, ” Scarlett! Look at me! I’ve loved you more than I’ve ever loved any woman and I’ve waited for you longer than I’ve ever waited for any woman.” My little pre-teen heart was lost. What woman alive wouldn’t go a little weak in the knees at those words? So, yeah, that’s a scene I’d like to reenact, though instead of slapping the man I’d probably push him against that fence and keep kissing him until Atalnta was a pile of ashes. Let’s cool off a bit and have a little fun, check out this GWTW montage set to Katy Perry’s Hot N’ Cold.
7. Mary Poppins: Clean Up Game (1964) How many children have wished they could snap their fingers and the room would clean itself up? How many moms have as well? As a child and as a mother, I would love to reenact this scene in my own home on a regular basis.
6. Annie: Taking care of the street thugs (1982) Let me preface this by saying I love the movie Annie. I was an obsessed six year old who lived and breathed that movie. I can’t tell you how many times I performed Hard Knock Life in my bedroom. But if I had to pick my favorite scene of all, it’s when Annie catches a group of street thugs in the act of bullying a poor dog. A freckled little red headed girl with fists of fury? My tomboy soul had found a kindred spirit.
5. First Knight: Lancelot’s Kiss (1995) Now, that is a great kiss. Passion and intensity and need and desperation. At least once in our lives, we should all get to experience a kiss like this:
Probably a little too aggressive for everyday though, my nose would get bruised.
4. Goonies (1985) – I’d reenact the whole movie as one of the kids in the Goonies Gang if I could, but if I had to pick one scene (as the husband insists), I suppose it would be the scene where they fly down the “water slide,” land with a splash in the underground cavern, and discover the pirate ship and treasure.
3. Superman: Lois Lane interview (1978) Aside from Luke Skywalker, my other childhood crush was Christopher Reeve as Superman. I’d love to reenact the scene when Lois interviews him about his x-ray vision with the very professional question, “What color underwear am I wearing?” Of course, when Superman takes me flying out above the city I wouldn’t be an idiot and try flying by myself (besides, why would I want to let go of his hand?) I recently found out that Henry Cavill will be playing Superman in the new version coming out in 2012. I wouldn’t mind reenacting this scene with him as my Superman…I wouldn’t mind at all.
1. Star Wars IV A New Hope: Luke and Leia swing across the Death Star bridge (1977) And for the scene that sparked this entire conversation, of all the great moments in my all time favorite movie series, the scene I would most want to reenact is that epic swing across the bridge.
Apparently Lucas and crew liked the swing scene as much as I did. Here are Luke and Leia ready to fly through the air once more in Return of the Jedi (1983).
Someone else can reenact this one, that bikini top looks painful.
Of course, I have to ask: what movie scenes would be on your list?
It all worked out pretty swimmingly, Miss A recently celebrated the passing of another year, and we had to head to Chi-town anyways, as she was Irish Dancing at a rather famous location…so a trip to American Girl place was not out of the question. (Note to self: never again try to arrange a trip to Chicago, a dance performance at Navy Pier, a visit to American Girl Place, a birthday party AND a slumber party all in one day – ok?)
For now, I’ll let Miss A enjoy the fruits of her labor…and try not to think about how much I’ll be paying in sales tax when we finally manage her big dream: a trip to Kanani’s home…Hawaii.
Melonie Johnson 
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