Blog

Proof That Commercials Are Effective, Even if They Don’t Live Up to Their Promises

Hallmark Moments, Kids, UncategorizedWrite a comment

On several occasions recently, my 5 year old has fallen prey to advertisements; leading me (and my wallet) to purchase various items that, while she enjoys very much, have caused her to make the shocking realization we all must face one day: what they say on t.v. isn’t always true.

Take for example the line of VIP Littlest Pet Shop toys. One day Aishtyn is perusing one of those little brochures, a mini-toy catalog if you will, that companies so thoughtfully include in the packaging of all their products. Bringing it over to me, she points and says, “Can I have one of these? I can go on-line with it!!!” I’m sitting there thinking, “how the heck does she even know what ‘go on-line’ means???” Yet before I know it, we (or, I should say she) owns 3 of the cute little critters (1 as a present for being the big sister, 1 for taking a week’s worth of eye medicine without fighting, and 1…I don’t remember what the other 1 was for). So, yes, she goes on-line with them, apparently there is an entire virtual world set up for the VIP’s and Aishtyn has a grand old time buying them clothes, choosing condos, and sending her animals to work in an ice cream shop. She really loves them, but has one terrible disappointment; in the ads, it is noted that you can “bring your VIP alive!” when you get them on-line. My sweet girl, bless her heart, sat her little stuffed monkey next to her at the computer, got logged in, and then waited….and waited. When my husband asked her what the problem was, she replied with a question of her own, “When is my monkey going to come alive?” Leading to a discussion of how alive in a virtual internet kind of way differs from alive in a breathing, jumping, swinging from the ceiling fan kind of way.

My daughter is on a steady diet of chicken nuggets, cheese quesadillas, crackers, and pasta (and that only in wheel or shell shape). Beverages consist of water, mass quantities of chocolate milk, and sweet tea. Trying to get her to eat a vegetable is laughable and fruit, not much easier – so when she came to me saying she wanted me to buy her some Juicy Juice, I was more than happy to oblige. What marketing scheme was it that so successfully appealed to this 5 year old’s cerebral center of consumerism? It wasn’t a popular cartoon character or special toy…it was a basic appeal to her ego. Apparently, as seen here in their commercial, “Juicy Juice is the very best juice for the very best kids.” Aishtyn, of course has no problem acknowledging the fact that she is among the very best of kids, so clearly she deserves the very best of juices! Upon arriving home with a jug of the bestest juice, Aishtyn takes a big swig, swishes like an elite wine tester then remarks, “It just tastes like juice!” Thankfully, she still deemed it worthy of her superior self and drained the glass.

While I am sure these are not the last of the disillusionments my daughter must face, they are endearing as some of her first.

10 days left of being pregnant and I feel like ranting

I hate people who..., Life Sucks, UncategorizedWrite a comment

Yep, 10 days (maybe less, you’d have to ask my passenger what her plans are) left to this pregnancy and I’m getting cranky. Very cranky. So rather than sit there and complain about the myriad of discomfort I am in, I’ll entertain myself by complaining about all the other stuff in my day-to-day life that IRRITATES me.

Let the cathartic rant of TTPMO* begin!

* = Things That Piss Me Off. My own special webacronym…I shall use it often.

TMPMO #1: Road Construction

This is not the typical complaint – yeah, construction sucks. It makes life tedious and turns an already hellish commute into something diabolical – but I’m actually cool with it. A necessary evil, a part of life, whatever. No, what pisses me off about road construction is about how it takes the assholes of the world and magically turns them into SUPER-SUPREME-KING-ASSHOLES. You know who I’m talking about, and if you’re one of them, I’m telling you here and now – you suck. Here are some examples of behavior that earns you the title of SSKA (what can I say, I’m in an acronym kind of mood). Exhibit A: the posted limit in construction areas is 45 mph (or less). Dire warnings of fines, etc await those who break this law. Now, I’m a reasonable person, and understand that most of society is going to have a hard time following this law to the letter; especially if there is zero evidence of any construction going on (which is sadly, often the case – but that’s a whole ‘nother issue). You wanna break the law – go for it Mr. McSpeedy. However, you have ZERO right to get pissed at me for choosing to be a good citizen. Racing up so that you are a cat’s whisker off my bumper, flashing your headlights, shaking your fist (or other appendages) at me, etc, is not going to make me speed up to accommodate your asshattery. In fact, it just may make me decide that hey, why should I risk breaking the law by going 5-10 mph over the posted limit (which I, as many people of common sense choose to do)? Maybe I should s-l-o-o-o-w down a tad more. Go the actual posted limit. You know, can never be too careful and all. So, if the ass hat fits and you’re wearing it; get a clue and realize these tactics won’t get me to speed up for you or move out of your way. It’ll just piss me off dude.

TTPMO #2: People who buy into whacked out theories and put others at risk because of it.

The prime example of this is parents who are choosing not to vaccinate their children. Thank you Jenny McCarthy!

I mean, what the hell? I understand parents want the best for their children – to do what’s right for them – but come on!!! Common sense is called for when making decisions for your child’s life. It doesn’t take an extra-large dose of logic to decide that when choosing between a possibly life-threatening, crippling, and/or terribly painful disease or the tiny/tiny minuscule possibility that your child may develop autism (a term that, btw, has undergone some serious re-defining in the last decade or so) from a series of vaccinations, that, well, the vaccination should win every time.

Sadly, this is not the case. Many, many parents have chosen to jump on this band wagon…maybe because their child did develop autism and they are desperate to blame something – anything – as a cause. Maybe we have just become a society so blessed by the advent of these vaccinations that we have simply forgotten how devastating they can be. Well, congratulations- we may all be in for a very harsh reminder. As of 2000, the viral disease measles was declared wiped out of the US. It’s 2008 and apparently we’re on the brink of a major outbreak.

So, yeah, I’m pissed off. If your decision to not vaccinate your child affected only you and your family, I’d be cool with it – you take the risks, make the gamble and have to live with the effects. Unfortunately, that is not the case. There are many children who have illnesses that either a: prevent them from being able to have the vaccine, or b: have compromised immune systems that will make them more likely to catch a disease that they could avoid if said diseases were kept in check like they were meant to be…BY VACCINATIONS. Also, I’m expecting a child here, did I mention that? What are the dangers for her? As a newborn who will not have had the full panel of MMR yet?

Now, will this turn of events cause many of these people to go running to their Dr’s demanding the shots? Vaccines need to be given on a set schedule to work effectively, and it may be too late to backpedal out the problem they have created – will there be a sudden increase in demand for these vaccines – not just by McCarthy cheerleaders who haughtily held their child back from the Ped’s needle, but by adults who are terrified they are no longer immune? Will such an increase in demand lead to a shortage that could easily have been avoided if people followed the recommended vaccine schedule? I’m know I’m getting ahead of myself here, but if a shortage like this does happen, and my child can’t get the vaccine because of it – then, pissed off won’t be the word for it.

There are plenty more TTPMO, but I’m a cranky pregnant woman, and need to take a break.

Why Christmas Letters Bah My Humbug

I hate people who..., UncategorizedWrite a comment

I got myself into a little trouble with this opinion over at a message board for Mom’s that I help organize. So, I thought I’d preface this entry with a disclaimer: Disclaimer Part 1:  I am an opinionated, often sarcastic bit of a tart (as my husband calls me) and will often speak openly of my like or dislike of all and sundry – please do not take my opinions personally…trust me, they more than likely have nothing to do with you  – if they did, you’d probably know already.  Disclaimer part 2: If my comments are directed to you personally, than please, don’t take it beyond the subject I am referring to. For example, I have a friend who LOVES Clay Aiken. I’m serious, the woman travels the country to see him in concert. Personally, I think the guy is a bit of a tool and you’d have to PAY ME to see him in concert, but hey, to each his own. My friend knows exactly how I feel, but understands that just because I heartily dislike something she adores does not mean I heartily dislike her. There’s the kicker – I think some people truly believe that if you don’t like or approve of whatever they eat, drink, listen to, watch, and do – then you don’t like or approve of them. This is just not the case…if it was, my marriage would be a shambles!

The reason for the above disclaimer stems from a post on the Mom’s message board I mentioned. Someone had posted an entry on Christmas Cards saying she was frustrated that she sends out lots of cards, but many of the people she sends to do not reciprocate and she was beginning to resent it and didn’t want to send cards to said non-senders. My reply was that I send cards regardless, sure, it’s disappointing that they don’t respond – but that’s really not the point of the cards in the first place. I then went on to discuss my feelings on the “Christmas letter” (which I will expostulate on further in a minute here). My opinions raised some hackles, and a few snippy responses on the poor quality of friends I must maintain and how oh so wrong I am. Geez! Don’t get so defensive  – and don’t pick on my friends…only I can do that.

So, without further ado – my opinion of the Christmas letter (I pretty much am just cutting and pasting my original post from that message board).

The initial post: I love writing and sending Christmas cards and really love getting them back – yeah it’s upsetting when people don’t send one in return…but I keep sending them anyway! It’s all about spreading the Christmas Joy. We only did the letter thing the year Aishtyn was born – I think they tend to be kind of cheesy, melodramatic, and often impersonal. SO I’d rather jot a few lines specifically for who the card is intended for and include a holiday photo if I think they’d care to have one. I love shopping for cards the day after Christmas and keeping a stockpile. Aishtyn and my husband enjoy putting holiday stickers all over the envelopes. We all get into it. smile


I have stopped sending cards to only 1 friend, she keeps moving and never lets me know her new address – so I have to track it down from her Mom, and I’m tired of it – if she wants to let me know where she’s at – she KNOWS where I am! The thing I find a teensy annoying is that I often won’t get a card from many people until they have got mine in the mail – even though I send them one every year…well, at least they are returning the kindness!

My response to the complaints about the first post: As usual, I fear my opinionated self may have stepped on some toes. I wasn’t referring to anyone here on the board – just giving my opinion on Christmas letters. If you took my comment personally, I’m sorry.
I said I feel the letters are impersonal because they’re typed up and shipped off one size fits all style to everyone, close friend and casual acquaintance alike. Now, if, like Tegan – you send 50+ cards, then I can certainly understand the time saving appeal! I typically send 30 or less, so not a big deal for me – and since most of my close friends and family live within an hour – they know everything that has happened and don’t need an update.

As for being cheesy & melodramatic – that’s just the people I know!
Here are some examples of the letters I’ve recv’d:
“The dog died, Uncle George had an infection in his eye, Aunt Mabel still has terrible arthritis, Grandma got food poisoning, etc etc etc” I am changing names and ailments, but you get the idea – this is supposed to be a time to count our blessings – not moan, groan and complain! And I really don’t need to hear about Cousin Mark’s torn groin muscle at Christmas or any daytongue
Now I said count your blessings, not parade them a la Donald Trump – it’s always nice to hear when friends & family are doing well – but the “We spent a lovely holiday in Key West, then George got a big promotion, then little Mia was first place in 20 dance contests, and picked to be the best student in all the world, then I sewed 500 blankets for an orphanage in Russia while losing 60 pounds and winning Mrs. America. All this before we moved into our new home in the best neighborhood in town and started a very successful gift basket business.” This is what stirs up schadenfreude in people.
Then there’s always the married couple who has pets instead of kids and goes into great detail about the adventures of their cute little kitties.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know it’s the thought that counts – and I appreciate that they send us a card/letter and let us know how they’re doing – but my sarcastic side can’t help but roll its eyes and snicker – that’s just medevilish

I do however, want to say that a friend of mine had a really cool idea last year – she made a montage photo of stuff, then labeled it with #’s and you had to play a kind of I Spy game to match up an item with an event from that year (like a medal or a trophy that one of her kids won, undies when one got potty-trained, etc).

So…are you pissed at me too now? I bet you won’t be sending me a Christmas letter. O

Oh dear.

Maybe you will.

Karma Chameleon Part II

Uncategorized, Warren TheatreWrite a comment

No, no, Boy George didn’t go and do a sequel/remake of his original…at least, I hope not don’t think so. This is a follow-up to my last post about good karma and bad karma, and how some people just suck. Well, not everybody sucks – and finally, at last – in some small way the universe is recognizing my innate goodness, and helping restore my faith in humanity…or at least reinforce my belief that while there are some major jerks out there, there’s a lot of nice, decent people too. Tonight, while I was out taking my daughter trick-or-treating (another opportunity to observe the best & worst of humanity: people out laughing and talking with neighbors sharing the fun of the holiday / and kids who don’t dress up in costumes, but take advantage of the moment by scavenging the neighborhood and, if some fool was careless enough to leave a bucket of candy on their porch, take it all and run – screw the next little kid who passes by) anyways – so while I was out t-or-t with Aishtyn, my boss from the high school dropped of a little gift. It was a digital camera! When I called her to say thank you, she said she couldn’t take the credit – that she was just the delivery girl. Well, all I can think is that one of the kids from my show – the one I was directing when the original camera was stolen – knew about my plight (how could they not, in desperation I asked everyone and anyone if they had seen it or knew anything about it) and decided to help me out. I was taken by complete surprise by this thoughtful gesture. I hope they didn’t go to too much trouble or cost, and that this camera was an extra one they haven’t used in awhile. Either way, whatever the circumstances, I appreciate it very much and am happy to know that people who like to do something nice for the sake of doing something nice are out there doing nice stuff. Thank-you, whoever you are, and may your act of kindness come back to you in a big ol’ special way.

Costume Controversy

Family, Kids, UncategorizedWrite a comment

It’s Halloween! Time to choose a costume, dress up and get some candy, candy, candy! As a theatre-type-person, I have always loved dressing up and pretending to be somebody else, whether for a holiday or otherwise, and my daughter is much the same – having a wardrobe of costumes and accessories of such magnitude I could start my own theatrical company…as long as all the characters were princesses. When, however, does a costume cross the line? I think we all know that dressing up an 8 yr old in some slutty French maid outfit is inappropriate (though I think a few of my neighbors didn’t get the memo on that one) and wearing a really freakin’ scary mask and scaring the crap out of the little kids who ring your doorbell is uncouth (scare the teenagers who are too cool for a costume all you want though) – but what else is deemed “off-limits” or “in bad taste” ?

The reason I ask this is because the question was foisted into my brain this Sunday when I went to take my daughter trick or treating with her cousins. Upon arriving at my mother-in-law’s house, my 7 year old nephew comes bounding down the driveway…as Flavor Flav. I don’t have a problem with his choice of persona to portray. I don’t have a problem with the Bulls jersey. I don’t have a problem with the big horned Viking hat. I don’t have a problem with the cheesy sunglasses. I don’t have a problem with the novelty sized clock as necklace. I DO have a problem with the brown face and body paint.

My husband had an even bigger problem with it – and when he asked his Mom who allowed this addition to the costume, she said she did and, “What? It’s not like we painted him black.”

SO, a-trick-or-treating we went, and my husband stayed a safe, non-committal 20 feet away from us at all times. Not one person seemed to have a problem with Flav’s costume, in fact some women were downright cracking up about it.

Well, were we overreacting? Was it tasteless, possibly racist, & inappropriate? Or was it just another part of the costume and creating the character? Obviously, the kid isn’t racist, he thinks Flavor Flav is awesome, heck, that’s why he wanted to dress up like him. In the end, he didn’t understand what was wrong with painting his skin brown so he could look more like the character – so I let it go. My husband, on the other hand – was considerably irked. Well – who is right? Is there a right? Does it really matter? Double standard aside (it’s ALWAYS funny when Eddie Murphy or Dave Chappelle do a black guy disguised as white guy routine – but would Jay Leno or Dave Letterman get away with such antics?) We don’t have a problem with letting kids put on green makeup to be a ghoul, white for a ghost, or wearing a red wig to be the little mermaid – so what’s the big deal with changing your appearance to match a different ethnicity? It’s all about becoming the character…right?

If you don’t believe in Murphy’s Law – have some kids.

Kids, Life Sucks, UncategorizedWrite a comment

You’ve at least heard of Murphy’s Law, right?

Well, if you have somehow managed to get through life without finding cause to believe this theory is correct, all you have to do is have children. I promise you – you will never doubt the veracity of this adage ever again.

Case in point – some recent examples from my own life:

Murpy’s Law of Parenthood #1:

Your child never sleeps in and is always awake by 6am. No matter how much you really need the sleep, you are dragged, pushed, kicked, rolled, and generally wheedled out of bed before 6:30. HOWEVER, if you are blessed with an odd burst of energy and are awake and hell, even dressed before 6am – your child will snooze past 8.

Murphy’s Law of Parenthood #2

At a friend/relative’s house your child tries a new food and loves it – she can’t seem to eat enough of it. Excited by the prospect of extending her dietary horizons beyond chocolate milk and cheese crackers you race to the store to stock up. The minute you attempt to serve the same beloved item at home it becomes a detested lump of uneaten slop.

Murphy’s Law of Parenting #3

Your child is happily amusing herself with a toy, puzzle, or tv show – the last thing they want is your attention. UNTIL you decide you’d like to: go the bathroom, take a shower, get some cleaning done, take a nap, or make out with your spouse. Then your offspring comes running, demanding your complete and 100% undivided focus.

Any you would like to add?

I can never think of this stuff at the time

UncategorizedWrite a comment

Does this ever happen to you? Someone asks you a question: “What do you want for your birthday?” “Where do you want to go for dinner?” etc, and you just can’t think of anything at the moment, and end up thinking of lots of great ideas later in the day? Well, this morning the husband asked me if there were any ways in which he could be a better husband. Of course, I said, “No.” And it wasn’t just the obligatory wifely duty of ego stroking – honestly, at that moment, I really couldn’t think of anything! But, of course, here I am…hours later, and several things have come to mind. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a wonderful man, and I know I am very lucky – but still…he did ask! So, hubby, if you’re reading this – here’s 10 Things My Husband Can Do To Be Even More Wonderful (and to be fair, I have also made a 10 Things That Make My Husband So Wonderful.

A moment in literary history.

Cool Stuff, UncategorizedWrite a comment

That’s right folks – today marks the last date in history where Potter fans everywhere will remain in the dark about…well, everything. All the speculation, the predictions, the arguments – it all ends tonight. After the release of book 7 at 12:01 am (I, for one, will be in bed and not in a bathrobe turned wizard’s outfit elbowing some 9 year old out of the way at my local Borders)  the period of time in which fans could see the story unfold along with the characters; not knowing the ending any better than they did – will be over forever. Like the knowledge of Luke Skywalker’s parentage – it’s all dramatic irony from here on out.

I’m off to see the movie version of OOTP (book 5 to all you not in the know) tonight – I’m hoping the super crazies will all be wiping their salivating mouths with their red and gold striped scarves, dancing, shaking and convulsing because they refuse to go pee – even after drinking several cups of coffee in order to stay awake during their 15 hour wait in line, just so they can be among the first TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!

Wouldn’t it be awesome if some prat (I like that word) grabbed a book, turned to the end, and just yelled at the top of his lungs, “My God – you mean Harry actually DIES?!?!”

How many hardcover editions of Book #7 will he have to be hit with before he dies, or at least goes into a coma?

If you are among the throngs of HP readers, but prefer to keep your interest private (like your secret enjoyment of Barbara Streisand or something) than this might interest you. 

When truth is stranger than fiction.

UncategorizedWrite a comment

This summer, it seems one of the two bookclubs I belong to has accidentally fallen upon a theme: hiking the Appalachian Trail and encounters with animals (specifically – bears). So far we have read Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver, A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, and The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King. Take a look at any of these books, especially the last one – and you’ll find a story about hiking in the woods and fearing attack from an unfriendly source who will do more than just raid your picnic basket.

Sure, I thought the fear these characters felt was valid – but in some ways I thought it might be exaggerated – exacerbated if you will – by the strain of the trail and the loneliness of the woods. Even after reading Bryson’s chilling re-telling of how a young boy scout was ripped apart by a bear who smelled an errant Snickers bar – I thought it was a remote, unlikely thing – something to feel horror for, but not to truly fear.

Then, just days after finishing King’s novel about a young girl who gets lost in the woods and is stalked and nearly killed by a bear – I read a story in the paper about an old friend from high school. Kathryn Evans (or Katie LaPlante, as I knew her back in high school) was killed on June 28th. She had been mauled by a bear.

If you want more details you can find them here, I do not wish to get into them myself.

Katie and I were the same age, and I am shocked to think her life has been cut short like this. I admit, though we were buddies in high school – we went our own ways and I had not seen or even thought of Katie in years. Reading of her death, however – images of her bright blue eyes and big smile flashed in my mind, and I could clearly recall some of our funnier conversations. One moment in particular is as clear as if it happened this afternoon, and I can hear her voice and her laugh as we whiled away the lunch hour in the Commons area of our school.

To all of Katie’s family – God Bless, I am very sorry for your loss.

Summer Love

IMO, UncategorizedWrite a comment

Though I can’t stand the heat and humidity (it turns me into one hell of a frizzy-haired cranky mess) – and the mosquitoes – oh, THE CURSED MOSQUITOES, I do love many aspects of this brief time each year when life travels both faster and slower at the same time.

To celebrate, I am taking note of the things I love about the summer season:

1. Big puffy white clouds in a brilliant blue sky.

2. The smell of meat grilling on the BBQ.
3. Sitting on a blanket in the grass, reading a book on a sunny, breezy afternoon.
4. Dinner & Drinks with friends on an outdoor patio at dusk.
5. Sand volleyball followed by margaritas.

6. The days are longer, but the workdays are shorter (and, for me anyway – there are far less of them!).

7. Taking my daughter to the theme park.

8. Hearing my daughter laugh as she runs around a spray park.

9.  Zoos, parks, and festivals.

10. Ice cream, cherries and strawberries.

Granted, I get to enjoy some of these more often than others – but I hope to enjoy them all as much as I can.