A Barbie (or 2) She WON’T Be Getting

While perusing the on-line toy ads for some holiday shopping, I came across some dolls of a particular well known brand (does an Aqua song come to mind?) and felt quite a variety of emotions from disgust to wry amusement…in any case, my daughter will not be finding any of the following under the Christmas tree:

The Lindsay Lohan Barbie (from the picture, I could not tell if panties were included)

Barbie Best Models: Monte Carlo Barbie – The product copy was so ridiculous, I had to include it here: Featuring the dramatic ModelMuse body sculpt Now, this term made me curious, so I Googled it to see what I might find, and holy pantyhose, there are some bizarre people out there, anyway, it appears the ModelMuse is an even thinner Barbie with less boobage, yay eating disorders!, the second Barbie doll in the Best Models Collection is dressed in a striking bathing suit and features fabulous accessories and an assortment of mix and match outfits. Being a star of the modeling elite means world-class assignments to exotic locales. This time the brilliant sunshine and the azure-blue Mediterranean Sea inspire finely tailored pieces in subtle hues. The sophisticated and dramatic black wrap around bathing suit, black sling back heels and oversized drop earrings are classic and elegant. For daytime dressing when not being seen at the pool, attire may include a sleek pantsuit, attache like purse, soft scarf and sunglasses to cut the glare of the brilliant sunshine. In this sumptuous wonderland, the nightlife is all about luxury and the perfect outfit moves effortlessly from dinner to the casino WTF? I mean seriously, my 5 year old needs to know all about how to glide effortlessly from pool to posh restaurant to the poker table– slim dove-grey shirred seam skirt, blue blouse with shiny buttons, fishnets and a glittery necklace. Big, bold faux leather bag and matching wallet make for stylish portability. Doll cannot stand alone. Sheesh, you got that right.

Fashion Insider Ken What I want to know is, has fashion insider Ken come out yet? He can join his brethren, who I’m sure are asking Santa for him right now…like this fine chap who I came across on a Barbie chat board while looking up the modelmuse term…his profile…

Location
Somewhere under the rainbow.
Gender
Male
Age
is a bitch.
Occupation
Arts/Entertainment
Personal Quote
I wanna be Barbie,cuz that bitch has EVERYTHING!

…is such a stereotype I’d almost say he was a troll…except it appears he posts regularly and often – and truly is concerned about Barbie’s fashion endeavors.

Guess I need to keep shopping.

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