“It’s Called PUNishment not FUNishment”

So said the late great Bernie Mac. Upon hearing those words, my husband decided that particular phrase must get marked down in his parental lexicon to be referenced for later use. Also included are Red Foreman’s ( That 70’s Show) variations on calling people a dumbass, and the one he currently employs regularly to the eternal frustration of Miss A: “Ok right now.” I believe he got that last one from Office Space. Whenever Miss A is dawdling (which is pretty much all the time) the husband will start in with the “What I want you to do now, ok right now, is to put your shoes on, ok right now, and then, ok right now…” it drives her completely nuts and usually results in her attacking him with what she likes to call “the neck chain” rather than actually completing whatever task he was attempting to get her to do. Yet he continues to do it.

Personally, I think he enjoys making her flip out.

Do all fathers share that? Do they all get a secret thrill out completely ticking their kids off just by repeating an oft-used and much hated turn of phrase?

I know my Dad did. Ugh. Even now I can hear him telling me “I can’t never did do anything.” You’d think, as much as that phrase annoyed me, I’d stop saying “I can’t!”

But guess what, I was a kid…”I can’t” is pretty much par for the course.

I get what he was saying, I get the message he was trying to teach me about not giving up. As an adult I can even appreciate the witty wording…but still…to this day that phrase raises my hackles.

Miss A says “I can’t” all the time. It is incredibly frustrating and I want her to cut it out and at least try her best…but I’ll tell you what…

I am VERY proud to say that I have never, not ever, responded by telling her “I can’t never did do anything.”

I just can’t do it.

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