Do Appliance Gods Exist?

If so, I’m building a shrine to him/her/them/it in my garage. It’ll be made from all the broken sh*t that has brought me to my knees, ready to pray to a higher power to come save the life of my (fill in the blank here) furnace, fridge, washer, dryer, etc. Are you there Appliance God? It’s me, Melonie.

So, last year it was the furnace that blew up – this summer our fridge is fried. Why can’t the fridge break when it’s cold enough outside to chill stuff in the garage, and the furnace break when it’s hot enough outside to fry an egg on the driveway? Why, Appliance God, why?!? Because the appliance God is one sadistic b*tch, that’s why.

Maybe, because I love to stroll the aisles of dept. stores and ooh and aaah at fridges, I committed some form of appliance hubris and brought this technological tragedy upon myself. I know the husband thinks so – he’s halfway convinced I did something to break the fridge just so I could buy a new one. Ha-ha, but no – I was simply waiting for the moment our fridge would breathe its last – will I EVER learn to be careful what I wish for?

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