A dream come true?

This is another episode in appliance hell; the last of which included an exploding microwave (which, by the way, is still awaiting a happy ending (ie – a new microwave – nope, I haven’t bought one yet…it’s a good thing we really don’t use one too often around here).

This installment of appliance hell concerns those workhorse appliances: the handy dandy machines that keep our clothes clean clean and smelling fresh – your washer and dryer. Now, mind you – our current w/d were in a pretty sad state when we became their proud owners (along with the house they came in). The washer would flood if you tried to use the extra large capacity setting, and the dryer had a broken handle (managed to fix that so I didn’t have to keep wedging a coat hanger into it every time I wanted to open it) and a cracked piece on the inside drum that clothes would snag on and get severely tangled (or worse, would rip). Yeah, it kinda sucked – but for the most part they did the job, so I couldn’t justify buying new…especially in light of all the other crap that DIDN’T work and DID need to be fixed.
And so I chugged along, doing laundry – if not happily, at least consistently. Until the last month or so when the dryer started to sound like a screeching, moaning animal. Aw, heck – it was still drying clothes, and yeah…it’ll probably break soon…but the old girl still had some life in her yet, so we’ll press our luck. Then, bam! A sneak attack from her sister appliance! Here I am just dreading the moment the dryer up and dies, when it’s the washer that croaks first. Yep – went in to put a load in the dryer and found the clothes still soaking wet. No big deal, I think – I’ll just run the spin cycle again. So I did this…twice. Then after some experimentation, I realize the washer isn’t spinning. And I don’t have to be Martha Stewart to realize that: no spinn-ey, no dry-ey. After playing pioneer days with the husband and wringing out clothes by hand, I immediately jump on-line to research appliances. Happy Easter, Home Depot – here we come.

I can’t pretend that a part of me isn’t happy with the situation; aside from the expense and inconvenient timing, I’m glad the w/d decided to bow out and make the decision for us…because, despite my kinship with this woman and her appliance fantasy, I just can’t see dumping such a load of cash for anything less than absolute necessity. Though the giant catapult is very tempting… (I just love the fact they include a warning not to attempt this at home, uh-oh, better cancel that order for the giant Medieval Catapult Kit).

Speaking of that commercial, apparently the concept of a woman lusting for new appliances is gauche…several sites are lambasting LG for the advertisement; like these grouchy old people whining. Oh, lighten up; have you never owned a faulty appliance? Clearly, you must not have…or you’d surely be able to empathize. Then there are these people who like to feel superior by complaining about stuff they hate in commercials , I’m sure these same blowhards who are getting all bent out of shape about a chick wishing to demolish her current appliances also think the scene from Office Space where the cubicle boys take a baseball bat to the scanner/copier just totally rocks. (BTW, if you do a YouTube search for “Office Space” & “Copier” or “Fax” or “Smash” etc, you would not believe the number of people who have re-enacted this scene with their own electronics. Go ahead…do a search).

As for whining about stereotypes…a woman doesn’t have to be Donna Reed to get excited about a washing machine…in fact, I doubt Donna ever wished she could take a jackhammer to her appliances. Or if she did, she just added that to her overstuffed closet of repressed urges.

So, no, while I did not tie my w/d to the train tracks or drop them off a cliff while wearing an evening gown, I shall be saying goodbye to them with as much glee as the woman with the catapult.

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