I thought just once…I might escape…

As August arrives and summer comes to a close, I thought – just once, I was going to escape an annual visit to Appliance Hell. But those malicious, sadistic, evil Appliance Gods had other plans for me. I see now that they were toying with me…allowing me to relax and grow comfortable and to almost expect my appliances to work on a regular basis, instead of saying a prayer of thanksgiving each time I used one and it functioned properly.

I mean, yeah, the beer fridge has stopped working but that is not a necessity (well, maybe it is if you ask the husband) so I can live with that. And there was that moment I freaked out because the thermostat was flipping out – but I realized it just needed some new batteries. So nothing serious or too over the top. Nothing to put me into debt or give me an ulcer.

So I admit it…I let my faith wane, I stopped offering blessings of appreciation every time I pressed a button on my washer and it started, every time the a.c. kicked on when it should…and every time I opened my fridge and it was cold.

The Gods knew my faith had grown weak, and decided to take action.

It’s a lucky thing Miss A has a serious chocolate milk addiction. When I got home from work this afternoon she immediately demanded a glass. Now, after being the victim of fridge issues in the past, I keep a little thermometer in both the fridge and the freezer to let me know what the ACTUAL temp of each one is…thereby hopefully spotting any problems before it gets too bad…like last time, a puddle of melted ice cream seeping from the freezer, or – as in the case of today, the top of my fridge LIGHTING ON FREAKING FIRE. Luckily I caught the problem before actual flames ensued (unlike the time when the flames of hell were literally shooting out of my microwave).

Upon opening the fridge, I see my trusty thermostat shows not the expected 38 or so degrees…but 50. Ok, something is most definitely wrong…sniffing, I detect an odd burning plastic smell – also not good. Further inspection reveals that the lightbulbs at the top of the fridge have not been turning off…instead, as one angry blogger with the same problem described – they turn the fridge into AN EASYBAKE OVEN.

Trying to remain calm, I remove the plastic covering the bulbs, noting it has warped from the heat. Then, oh so carefully, I unscrew the bulbs using potholders…they were insanely hot. Both sockets were scorched. Next I discover the metal panel above the bulbs is letting off some major heat…so I carefully unscrew the panel so it isn’t in actual contace with the fridge. Good call on my part, since I discover the metal was so hot, it has actually melted and warped the top of the fridge.  W. T. F.

All this in only a matter of hours… I cannot even fathom the result if this had gone unrealized for a day…oh wait I can.

Do I hear the sound of sirens in the distance?

I lock down the urge to do something very stupid involving my fridge and a baseball bat, then call LG customer service. At first they are super quick to point out that my fridge is out of warranty (yeah, it’s barely 2 years old, I know  – so ancient it should be on it’s last legs, right?)…but as I describe the problem the rep says, “Oh! Well, there is a 3 year warranty for that issue….” So a repair man is coming on Monday.

I am trepidatious.

1. After some brief surfing – it appears that this light bulb burning defect is running rampant in LG fridges…as urged by many other frustrated consumers, I reported the safety hazard to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.  Like the oodles of others who have faced this issue, I want to know – WHY HASN’T THERE BEEN A RECALL YET??? Does someone really need to get fried to a crisp first? It has even been on the freakin’ news! Maybe I should call Oprah.

2. I am very skeptical about Monday’s repair visit after the horrible service and pathetic run around we got from the LG repair service last summer when my brand new dryer (still under warranty, you bastards!) flipped out and I went for months hanging clothes up in my backyard and begging friends to let me use their dryer so Lil’ G  (who was barely 2 months old) would have soft pj’s.

3. I am a tense ball of nerves waiting to see if the meltdown caused other issues…it is very hard not to keep opening the fridge to see if the temp has gone back down to normal…very hard indeed.

So, until Monday, I shall await and see.

And shake my fist at the Appliance Gods in frustration.

And never. ever. buy an LG appliance again.

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