Appliance Hell: Phone Sex Edition

I bet you didn’t know this…but switch one zero for a three in the LG Customer Service line, and instead of sub-par phone grunts rolling their eyes at your domestic dramatic diatribe, you get sub-par phone grunts rolling their eyes at your domestic drama while saying things like “Oh yeah baby, take my thong off with your teeth.” And stuff like that.
At least, I think that’s what they would say…instead of giving them my credit card number when asked, I hung up the phone in shock.

For a second or two I seriously thought the service dude who effed up his schedule and forgot he was supposed to be at my house first thing this morning gave me the phone sex number in place of the LG phone number on purpose.

I was a bit of a bitch to him after all.
What can I say, incompetence brings out the worst in me.

But no, looking at my phone I realized I had added an extra 3 and dropped a 0.

Who knows, this info may come in handy (har-har)…I’m sure there are plenty of people so insanely frustrated by LG’s pathetic excuse for customer service that they’d be delighted to discover a cellslut/telehooker/mobilemistress on the other line.

In the meantime, my fridge still sports a warped patch on the ceiling, and the temp control board is hanging from wires dangling out of melted sockets. And there ain’t nothing sexy about that.

As far as I can tell, the only thing LG excels at is the ability to turn a simpleΒ  service call into a clusterf or astronomical proportions.Β  I witnessed it first hand last year with my dryer, and joy of joys, am experiencing it again with my easy-bake oven fridge.

The phone sex chicks might actually fix my fridge faster.

Maybe I should call them back.

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