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Soon there will be “shour” of us

In the words of Aishtyn, who has issues with articulating the letter “F” (hence, she wears “shlip-shlops,” likes to eat “shrench shries,” and calls people on the “shone”…however she says “flamingo” perfectly clear, so I know the child CAN do it…) anyways, as Aishtyn, says, “soon there will be shour of us.” Yes, that’s right. Johnson # 4 is on his or her way.

I start my 2nd trimester on Monday, and wanted to wait to make the announcement until I got past that first tricky trimester. We’re all excited and happy – and things are going well overall – I got lucky with Aishtyn and was hardly ever sick, but this one has had me feeling queasy morning, noon, and night (tell me again why they call it morning sickness?). Hopefully, as I move into this next trimester the nausea and severe headaches and exhaustion will pass.

Aishtyn can’t wait to be a big sister – at first she refused to believe that it could be anything other than a baby sister that we would name “Barbie”(another discussion all in itself), but now she has come to accept that whether it is baby sister or brother – Aishtyn will be the all-important big sister and s/he will love her very much.

Of course, now comes the constant, “I have a baby in my tummy too” conversations and the “Does Dada have baby in his tummy?” ah, such interesting, creative answers – I try to stick as close to the truth as possible without crossing into TMI land.

Went for the first appt about a month ago – and wow, I didn’t know they did this now – but they do an ultrasound that first visit, and I got to see tiny Baby Johnson’s body and heartbeat right there on the screen. Yep, just one in there, so no red-headed twins named Fred & George. (Though the Dr. did think he was being funny when he first flipped on the screen and started counting more than one…whatever, I guess you gotta take your laughs where you can in that profession).

So here you go – the very first look at Baby Johnson#2, estimated arrival date in early May.

And in case this looks like some ink blot test, I added some info:

Karma Chameleon Part II

No, no, Boy George didn’t go and do a sequel/remake of his original…at least, I hope not don’t think so. This is a follow-up to my last post about good karma and bad karma, and how some people just suck. Well, not everybody sucks – and finally, at last – in some small way the universe is recognizing my innate goodness, and helping restore my faith in humanity…or at least reinforce my belief that while there are some major jerks out there, there’s a lot of nice, decent people too. Tonight, while I was out taking my daughter trick-or-treating (another opportunity to observe the best & worst of humanity: people out laughing and talking with neighbors sharing the fun of the holiday / and kids who don’t dress up in costumes, but take advantage of the moment by scavenging the neighborhood and, if some fool was careless enough to leave a bucket of candy on their porch, take it all and run – screw the next little kid who passes by) anyways – so while I was out t-or-t with Aishtyn, my boss from the high school dropped of a little gift. It was a digital camera! When I called her to say thank you, she said she couldn’t take the credit – that she was just the delivery girl. Well, all I can think is that one of the kids from my show – the one I was directing when the original camera was stolen – knew about my plight (how could they not, in desperation I asked everyone and anyone if they had seen it or knew anything about it) and decided to help me out. I was taken by complete surprise by this thoughtful gesture. I hope they didn’t go to too much trouble or cost, and that this camera was an extra one they haven’t used in awhile. Either way, whatever the circumstances, I appreciate it very much and am happy to know that people who like to do something nice for the sake of doing something nice are out there doing nice stuff. Thank-you, whoever you are, and may your act of kindness come back to you in a big ol’ special way.

Costume Controversy

It’s Halloween! Time to choose a costume, dress up and get some candy, candy, candy! As a theatre-type-person, I have always loved dressing up and pretending to be somebody else, whether for a holiday or otherwise, and my daughter is much the same – having a wardrobe of costumes and accessories of such magnitude I could start my own theatrical company…as long as all the characters were princesses. When, however, does a costume cross the line? I think we all know that dressing up an 8 yr old in some slutty French maid outfit is inappropriate (though I think a few of my neighbors didn’t get the memo on that one) and wearing a really freakin’ scary mask and scaring the crap out of the little kids who ring your doorbell is uncouth (scare the teenagers who are too cool for a costume all you want though) – but what else is deemed “off-limits” or “in bad taste” ?

The reason I ask this is because the question was foisted into my brain this Sunday when I went to take my daughter trick or treating with her cousins. Upon arriving at my mother-in-law’s house, my 7 year old nephew comes bounding down the driveway…as Flavor Flav. I don’t have a problem with his choice of persona to portray. I don’t have a problem with the Bulls jersey. I don’t have a problem with the big horned Viking hat. I don’t have a problem with the cheesy sunglasses. I don’t have a problem with the novelty sized clock as necklace. I DO have a problem with the brown face and body paint.

My husband had an even bigger problem with it – and when he asked his Mom who allowed this addition to the costume, she said she did and, “What? It’s not like we painted him black.”

SO, a-trick-or-treating we went, and my husband stayed a safe, non-committal 20 feet away from us at all times. Not one person seemed to have a problem with Flav’s costume, in fact some women were downright cracking up about it.

Well, were we overreacting? Was it tasteless, possibly racist, & inappropriate? Or was it just another part of the costume and creating the character? Obviously, the kid isn’t racist, he thinks Flavor Flav is awesome, heck, that’s why he wanted to dress up like him. In the end, he didn’t understand what was wrong with painting his skin brown so he could look more like the character – so I let it go. My husband, on the other hand – was considerably irked. Well – who is right? Is there a right? Does it really matter? Double standard aside (it’s ALWAYS funny when Eddie Murphy or Dave Chappelle do a black guy disguised as white guy routine – but would Jay Leno or Dave Letterman get away with such antics?) We don’t have a problem with letting kids put on green makeup to be a ghoul, white for a ghost, or wearing a red wig to be the little mermaid – so what’s the big deal with changing your appearance to match a different ethnicity? It’s all about becoming the character…right?

The Karma Chameleon…

Boy George, your words are so true. The Karma Chameleon, it comes and goes…and I don’t know where mine went. Look – I’m not some hippy-dipped in soy nut butter-screwball, but I do think that it would be nice if the world worked on the “what goes around comes around” theory – you know, the concept of paying it forward – good karma.  Unfortunately, the world doesn’t seem to actually work that way.

Case in point: the other night I asked my husband if I could borrow his recently purchased digital camera. He was quite hesitant, worried I would damage or lose it in some way. But the man loves me, so against his better judgement, he let me take it. Well, that’s the last he saw of his new camera. I accidentally left it hanging on the coat hook in the bathroom, and now someone is enjoying a nice new camera (with new case and memory card, as my husband reminded me).  That’s what I don’t get – I have always, ALWAYS, turned in whatever I find – I have gone out of my way to take a minute to find someone to turn a lost item in to – whether is was a glove, a pair of glasses, a coat, a wallet – or yes, even money. I remember I was in a Social Deviance class in college and the professor was asking us to raise our hands if we would turn in money if we found it. I was the only one who had a hand in the air. Most of the class didn’t believe me – but it’s true – and I have done it a few times so it’s not like something I think I would do, but have never been faced with the choice. Once, when I was like 17 and working in a convenient store, I found a money clip stuffed with cash on the floor. I put it in an envelope and told my boss about it – he, to his credit, didn’t just stuff it in his pocket and say he’d “look into it.” No, he said I should hold on to it, and if nobody came looking for it in a week, the cash should be mine.  Fair enough. Well, the next day, a man came in and asked about the money, describing the clip in perfect detail. I handed over the envelope. He was overjoyed, and so surprised that he offered me a significant reward for my honesty – I turned him down, saying there was no need to pay me for doing the right thing. As for another example – there have been a few times I have walked away from a store only to realize the cashier gave me too much change back (a $20 bill instead of a $10 for example) and I have gone back inside to fix it. Why do I do all these things, you may ask? Am I an idiot? Isn’t the motto “Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers” a fair practice? No – I don’t think it is. Besides, if you’ve ever been the weeping loser, than you know how it feels – how could you possibly want to put someone else in that position if you have the power to help avoid it? This is where karma comes in – I am trying to spread good karma, hoping the good I do for others will one day find its way back around to me. I think too many others practice bad karma – at some time in their life something they lost was stolen and now they feel justified to take an item they happen to stumble across. Someone did it to them, so why shouldn’t they do it to someone else. To that logic I apply one of my Dad’s favorite sayings, which is all too true, no matter how much I hated hearing it as a kid: “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Hell, maybe I am overanalyzing this – maybe the person who swiped the camera had zero thought beyond “Oh cool, a camera.” and Yoink! It was theirs.

I am glad the my husband is a decent guy who didn’t give me a hard time when I had to eat a big plate of crow and tell him he was right not to want to lend me the camera. At least good karma is alive and well in our relationship – when he backed into a neighbor’s car and had to spend $600 to fix his bumper, I didn’t harass him about it, and now, when I lost his camera and accessories totaling about $200 – he didn’t harangue me either. So we’re human, we both F up from time to time. It sucks, but we understand the other feels bad enough that they don’t need extra recrimination.

So, I’m trying not to be too mad at myself for forgetting the camera in the bathroom in the first place.  And I’m trying extra hard not to hope that whoever walked off with the camera doesn’t get a big dose of bad karma shot their way anytime soon.  A small dose might be alright….

The Busy Season / My rant on Perpetual Complainers

It’s been a month since I’ve posted and the reason is simple. This is the start of my busy season – where my schedule becomes frantic, crazy – insane even! Enough with the hyperbole, but it’s true. Why do I have this crazy schedule you may ask? Well, after becoming a mommy I resigned from my job as a full-time teacher. However I chose to keep my afterschool positions of directing plays and coaching speech team. That first summer I added in-home tutoring to the list, next came directing plays for a children’s theatre company, then I started teaching gymnastics at my daughter’s gym, then I added teaching drama classes for an international drama franchise. I juggled all these positions at the same time, and did them all after my husband was home from work – so he was with our daughter. Except for the gymnastics gig, which I do 2 or 3 days a week, and can take my daughter with me (she is usually in a class or 2 while I’m there). Is it crazy? YES! Do my husband and I sometimes feel like single parents? YES! Is it hard? Hell, YES! But – it is worth it, or I wouldn’t do it. For the most part, I enjoy the positions I have maintained, and the extra income is not an incredible amount – but enough for us to pay the taxes and a few other things. When it got too stressful, I cut back. I no longer tutor, and I’m currently not teaching drama classes. So, here’s the deal: I don’t want to hear people complain about how they wish they could be a stay-at-home mom but they HAVE to work, whine-whine-whine, blah-blah-blah. There are ways to do both – but it’s not easy and requires hard work and dedication and sacrifice from both spouses. If you really, truly want to do it – you can. That’s perhaps my biggest pet peeve: when people complain and complain and complain about a situation but NEVER seem to try to do anything to fix it! Not just about the stay-at-home thing, but anything. I just want to shout: “You’re not allowed to complain about that anymore! Until you actually try to do something to solve the problem – whatever is happening to make you complain is going to continue happening. So either look for ways to make it better, or shutup and accept it!” I have, on occasion, gotten myself into a little trouble with this view…misery loves company, not a pep talk. Look, I’m all about commiserating on an occasional bitchfest. It’s when an individual continually returns to the same thing to harp on over and over and over…and over that I go into fix it or zip it mode. So that’s why – despite the fact I am insanely busy right now and rather tired- you won’t hear me complaining about it.

Is there anyone who doesn’t have a love/hate relationship with Ikea?

Let’s face it – it’s hard to deny that Ikea has some funky-cool sh*t for your house at decent prices…but damn, that store is a b*tch!

LOVE: Cheap glassware, cool poster frames, awesome bookcases & storage solutions, unique kid’s furniture, great bathroom & kitchen gadgets.

HATE: Driving there. Parking there. Attempting to maneuver a cart in there. Struggling to find the product I’m looking for there. Never finding the product I want actually in stock there. Checking out of there. Leaving there.

Add a grumpy, impatient husband and a 4 year old who is bored and wants to touch everything – and IKEA can be its own circle of hell…and probably not worth the OLGA shoe organizer of KLEMPF towel rack that I liked in the catalog but will be unlikely to find after a few hours of searching the store.

Houses don’t have birthdays.

Or so I was informed this afternoon by my daughter, who thought the concept of a house party to be quite ridiculous. Some friends of ours recently bought a house and were having a housewarming party this weekend. So on the way, we stopped at World Market to get some funky wine glasses and wine as a little gift. When I told my daughter we were buying presents for the house party she gave me a look that indicated she had doubts concerning my mental stability and told me, “Mama – houses don’t have birthdays.”

Minutes later she asked me if there would be cake.

If we had to do it all again…

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
— Benjamin Franklin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
— Milton Berle

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open. ~George Bernard Shaw (for us it’d be the other way around, but same basic idea)

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it. ~Gene Perret

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~Paul Sweeney

That’s right – 6 years ago today, my man and I tied the knot. And all I can say is if I had to do it all over again, though I might have chosen a smaller and CHEAPER celebration of our choice to spend the rest of our lives together – there is one thing I would never change: the fact that I said, “I do.”

You still make me want to do this:

A collection of collections

That’s kind of what we have in our house – both hubby and I have a habit of collecting things…and it seems to be rubbing off on our daughter whose collection of princess dresses and littlest pet shop toys is awe inspiring. For starters, there’s our Star Wars room: in which we converted our dining room into a mini-museum of Star Wars memorabilia. Then there is hubby’s office – which is in itself a tribute to video games: with altars to LOZ, Donkey Kong, and Pac-Man

The good news about this mania for multiple items under a single theme is that it makes gift-giving a fairly easy process: all I have to do is search e-bay for Pac-Man paraphernalia and presto! I find some fun gifts (in the past, this has included many vintage 80’s items like: a pac-man shaped phone, lunch box, tv tray, card game, wind-up doll, mugs, and glassware.)

One of the collections in our house started quite by accident: my collection of music boxes/snow globes. Way back in the day when hubby and I had our first Christmas together, one of his gifts to me was a snow globe of two cute little mice in a bubble gum machine. The following Christmas I asked for another snowglobe – and a trend was born. Every Christmas since, he has bought me some tye of snowglobe / music box – often having some significance for what happened during the course of that year. For example, the year I directed Alice in Wonderland, he got me an Alice & Cheshire cat snowglobe. The year our daughter was completely addicted to Lilo & Stitch he got me a Lilo snowglobe. I have a curio cabinet I keep my treasures in, and it’s a fun way to mark our years together and each one is special; they’re not just dust collecting knick-knacks.

This year – with the culmination of the Harry Potter series – I would really like to have a Harry Potter themed snowglobe. So, honey – here’s my official wish request! Check out my two favorites: the Hedwig one and the Hogwarts train. Don’t worry, I’ll still act surprised on Christmas morning…I always do.

Oh, and our daughter would like this for her collection.

If you don’t believe in Murphy’s Law – have some kids.

You’ve at least heard of Murphy’s Law, right?

Well, if you have somehow managed to get through life without finding cause to believe this theory is correct, all you have to do is have children. I promise you – you will never doubt the veracity of this adage ever again.

Case in point – some recent examples from my own life:

Murpy’s Law of Parenthood #1:

Your child never sleeps in and is always awake by 6am. No matter how much you really need the sleep, you are dragged, pushed, kicked, rolled, and generally wheedled out of bed before 6:30. HOWEVER, if you are blessed with an odd burst of energy and are awake and hell, even dressed before 6am – your child will snooze past 8.

Murphy’s Law of Parenthood #2

At a friend/relative’s house your child tries a new food and loves it – she can’t seem to eat enough of it. Excited by the prospect of extending her dietary horizons beyond chocolate milk and cheese crackers you race to the store to stock up. The minute you attempt to serve the same beloved item at home it becomes a detested lump of uneaten slop.

Murphy’s Law of Parenting #3

Your child is happily amusing herself with a toy, puzzle, or tv show – the last thing they want is your attention. UNTIL you decide you’d like to: go the bathroom, take a shower, get some cleaning done, take a nap, or make out with your spouse. Then your offspring comes running, demanding your complete and 100% undivided focus.

Any you would like to add?