A Vote For Disney’s Magical Express: The Sooner I Can Start My Vacation, The Better

When you plan a Disney vacation, trying to decide whether you will stay “on property” vs. an off-site hotel is one of the biggest decisions to make…and it affects many of the the choices you make thereafter. Disney knows this and has been doing their best to lure vacationers to come and stay and play (and pay!) on Disney property for the whole of their vacation. Well, I was hooked and we were lured right in and I didn’t mind a bit. In fact,  the more perks they can pack into a package, the happier I’m gonna be.

magical express window

One of the nice package perks of staying on property was the “Magical Express”  – which is free transportation from Orlando airport to your hotel and back again. That in itself is great, but it also includes worry-free transportation of all checked baggage. When your trip info comes in the mail, luggage tags will be included – these tags make it possible for your luggage to get from the airport into your Disney hotel room without you doing anything more than putting the tag on (of course, you’ll need to bring the luggage with you to the airport and check it – but after that, it’s taken care of!) We had zero problems with this service – everything worked exactly as it was supposed to, and it really made our arrival easier.

The Magical Express service itself was wonderful, simply because I didn’t have to try and arrange for some sort of transportation to the hotel – and it was so easy to just follow the gigantic signs (and herds of other families clearly on a Disney vacation) to the pick-up spot for the buses that would take us to the hotel. It made me think of when the husband and I arrived for our honeymoon in England, and a hired car the travel agent had arranged for us swept us out of Heathrow and to our hotel – for someone like me who doesn’t travel often, it just felt luxurious and, well, fun. Compare that to the nerve-shearing nightmare we had at the Dublin airport, where we had to get ourselves a rental car, and drive said rental car from the airport to our hotel in Dublin…being mapless, clueless, and on the wrong side of the road in a teeny tiny car going HOLYSHIT fast. Oh, and when we  – mercy of mercies –  find our hotel, we realize we can’t park the car anywhere but in a parking garage…and then realize we don’t have any native currency yet. I still, 8 years later,  am in awed gratitude of the awesome dude in that parking garage who, without being asked, just fronted the quid so we could park our car. Thank you again, sir.

But I digress – the point is the Magical Express takes all that stress out of the equation. You get on board the big air conditioned bus with cushy seats and cool foot rests, sit back and look at the palm trees fly by. Yes, there is a silly infomercial that plays…but so what? You’re on vacation and you’re going to DISNEYWORLD!

Miss A loved the Magical Express ride, she thought it was just so cool. It was a great sign that if she was enjoying just the Disney bus ride this much, then this vacation was going to be worth every penny.

magical express

And it was.

A Classic WTF moment

Miss A is following in her mama’s footsteps. Around the time I was 6 years old I became completely obsessed with all things Star Wars (having a crush on Luke Skywalker might have been part of it). For some reason, I would have this reoccurring dream that Luke was coming to visit me at my house (except, it was a younger Luke than in the movie, like 8 or so, and he was wearing a red turtleneck) and he would throw rocks at my window and my dad would yell at him to go away. I didn’t say it was a great dream, it’s just one I clearly remember having many times when I was 6.

Anyways, so Miss A is now 6 and is obsessed with all things Star Wars.  So there are lots of lightsaber fights  and attempts to use the Force around here. She has big plans to dress as Princess Leia for Halloween (with Lil’ G going as R2D2  of course).

I won’t let her watch Revenge of the Sith until she is 10, but I finally decided she could watch Attack of The Clones. Watching along with her, I saw one of my favorite moments in the movie that I had forgotten about.

I don’t think it’s breaking news to say that Hayden Christensen, while not bad on the eyes, was a bit weak in the acting dept. Perhaps it was the horrible dialogue that was at fault, or Lucas’s inability to work well with humans, but in any case – his performance fell short.

There was however, one moment I thought he played to perfection. It was done so well it was really believable. Believable and hilarious. That moment when they first arrive at Padme’s little lake house hideaway on Naboo, and she is outfit #456 – she and Anakin are on the balcony, and he is overcome with her hotness, so he moves in for a kiss…she responds for a moment…then leaves the poor boy hanging.  Watch this, if you don’t remember. (Skip to 1:37 for “the face”)

The look on his face after she says no is just priceless. Classic “WTF woman!?!”

Lemme see some hands – how many of you boys can remember being in just such a moment? I am embarrassed to admit I pulled that on the husband a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.

And we were a tad farther along then a smooch.

Obviously, he got over it.

Who Allows this?

Thank you, thank you for coming by and sharing some bizarre CC titles with me. I iz enjoying it very much. (Sorry, once you start writing like that, it can be hard to stop).

Some of the titles mentioned are just awful, but some make me want to jump and say “Don’t Be Ridiculous!” (Have you seen that Robot Chicken skit?)

It makes me seriously wonder, in all honest amazement and stupefied curiosity, who out there reads some of those titles and thinks, “Yep! That’s awesome!”

They’re the same bozos who approve all that eye-burning cover art…aren’t they?

So, as to the titles you all have listed – I giggled a few of them to the husband, who responded with a title of his own:

coming soon to a bookstore near you:

The Guy At Starbucks Grinds My Beans

I’m thinking we have potential for a whole series here! (Or “line” is that what they call it?) They could be the “Coffeehouse Hotties” line of books, including such titles as

Barsita’s Babe

Self-Indulgent Pretty Boy With Philosophy Degree’s Imaginary Virgin

Chai For Love

The Tea Tycoon’s Tempestuous Office Girl

Three O’Clock Pick Me Up

The Muffin Magnate’s Mistress

I could keep going, but I know you have a few titles to add to this promising new series!

Tycoons’ Tarts and Mandates’ Mistresses are Endangered Species

Bet you didn’t know that, huh?

Apparently, category contemporary romance novels are struggling to stay alive.

save the contemporary

I guess I was inadvertently contributing to their demise, since my taste runs to big thick historical romances, and until my recent endeavors with the Sony E-reader and Harlequin’s $25 gift certificate (and their offering of many free e-books in honor of their 60th anny) I had never read a category contemporary (CC).

The SmartBitches (along with other romance novel review sites) are reaching out to encourage one and all to get out there and try some contemporary. Before you scoff, give it a try – reading outside your comfort zone is always an experience, and good or bad, positive or negative, you are sure to learn something about yourself in the process.

In order to encourage you, Harlequin is ruuning a 25% discount on all their e-books and  all week long the SB’s are giving away some free CC’s, and free stuff is always a great way to encourage people to do something. Afterall, I can remember a 12 year-old me donating $20 of my hard earned babysitting money to the WWF because I thought the free tote bag was just so darn cute.

So pretend you are Luke Skywalker, I’m Princess Leia and your computer is R2D2…this post is my version of “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, I need your help.”

Except it’s for some books…not a fictional intergalactic war.

And I don’t have cinnamon buns attached to my earlobes.

r2-d2-princess-leia-hologram contemporary

I gotta tell you, personally – it’s the titles that get me, how can anyone take something like

The Spaniard’s Virgin Housekeeper seriously?


Miss Scarlett is an Enabler

So I’m sending my boy toy packing and stickin’ with my 2nd Sony e-reader of the summer: Miss Scarlett. Aside from that gawdawful cover of hers, she’s a sexy little tart, and we’ve already had quite some fun.

The problem is, Miss Scarlett is like that gossipy girlfriend: y’know the type:  the one you spend way too much time dishing with over a few drinks when really you should be doing something more constructive?

Aside from returning stuff at Wal-Mart, one of the items on my list of THINGS I HATE TO DO is leave  a book unfinished. I just don’t like doing it. I feel like I failed somehow. Yet, maybe it’s because I’m growing older and realizing life is short and sweet – I am starting to mellow a bit and have grown lax from time to time. (Hence the list of books I have left unfinished slowly yet steadily increasing in number). I’m going to have to add another book to that list. The book  club meeting for this month’s choice was tonight, and I still hadn’t managed to get farther than the half way point in this book.  Hence (I seem to like using that word) why I’m hanging out here rather than out with the ladies sipping wine and talking smack.

Because in the case of this book, some smack talk there would be. (I just love Yoda-isms).

This month’s pick was Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman.

On the surface, the book seemed intriguing enough, if a little weird. All about superheroes and super villains and their personal angst and foibles and…

In the words of my 6-year-old, “IT WAS SO BO-ooo-RING.”

Really. I don’t know why exactly- the writing just didn’t hit me. I didn’t care that Dr. Impossible was a super-genius. I didn’t care that CoreFire (whoever the hell he was) is missing. And I didn’t care that some 1/2 robotic version of the Bionic Woman was getting all excited to join the super heroes (and possibly get into one of the superdude’s tights).

So here I am, trying to force myself to care whether Dr. Impossible will finally take over the world, and there is Miss Scarlett – silently seductive – just waiting, knowing I’d be much happier with her and her stockpile of romance novels just a thumb swipe away.

Over and over again, the e-reader won. And Dr. Impossible just had to stick it.

Sometimes, on the rare occasion I don’t finish the book before a book club meeting occurs, I will still endeavor to get it done. Not this time.

Oh no sir.

CoreFire can stay missing, and Dr. Impossible can do whatever it is he does on his remote island/underground lab/lair.

Miss Scarlett and I are going to get together to read some more steamy sexxoring.

I just can’t say no to her.

And she knows it, the damn little enabler.

It’s Like A Blogger’s Bread Crumb Trail

But instead of leading me to a nasty old witch with a craving for chubby children; following the trail of websites from one artistic mother to another has led to delicious discoveries of women with incredible talent and the passion to find the time to make it happen. Follow along, as the trail leads from last week’s Bella Sinclair, to an artist that seems to be Bella’s  on-line best buddy in art, Ces: of the breathtaking website, Ces And Her Dishes. I especially like her Fruity series, in which all the illustrations are done in COLORED PENCIL! Colored pencil, really! With such a simple tool, she makes truly beauiful images – now that takes talent. Go take a look, they are really great.

I promise.

I plan to continue following this particular trail of crumbs next week, since I spotted another Mama artist mentioned on Ces’ blog – and I can’t wait to introduce her to you…oh, well, I guess I can wait – til next Monday.

It’s Too Late to Change, My Love

Did you ever date someone until finally one day you just got so fed up with a particular quirk/problem/ISSUE that you decide to throw in the towel and announce you want to break up? And immediately following that announcement your no-longer-significant-other decides to suddenly “change” and start treating you better, cleaning up their life, and fixing their ISSUES?

Yet you don’t stay – you aren’t fooled – you know it’s not permanent.

And even if it is a change for the better, it’s too little, too late.

Well, apparently the Silver Bullet wasn’t taking the end of our summer  romance as well as I thought.  Before I could pack his broke ass up to get shipped back to SBHQ, I dropped him…and would you believe it – the contrary bad boy now works perfectly! His power button is sliding on and off like nothing ever happened.

Oh no buddy, you’re not fooling me.  You’re still heading out the door. Miss Scarlett and I agree it’s for the best.

But for anybody else out there who is dealing with a Sony 505 E-reader and the power button decides to flip out and jam…I have a simple solution.

Drop that misbehaving bee-yatch on the floor.

And if this doesn’t work, and in fact causes more damage – do NOT come looking to blame me. I’m not the best person to be taking technical advice from, after all – I just used the word “bee-yatch.”